Prayer as a Means of Coping with Crises

by the Rev. Dr. Rodney R. Romney
(From a sermon given on January 29, 2006)

We often think of prayer as an instinctive cry for help when we feel threatened by danger, crises, or calamity. This cry is native in every human being, regardless of religious conviction or lack thereof.
It is an inborn instinct in everyone. But if we only pray when we are in trouble or when we need help, then we are missing the larger dimension of what prayer can be.

For most people, prayer is what we say. It is a human attempt to speak to God. But what I have learned is that real prayer is not just words. It is beyond words, just as God is essentially beyond words. From the Tao te Ching, a classic Chinese religion from the sixth century B.C. comes this teaching: "The Tao (the Divine Way) that can be named is not the eternal Tao." That is, if you can put it into words, you are no longer talking about prayer. That same insight is affirmed in different traditions: God, the sacred, is beyond all words and names. Since God is beyond all our concepts and images, then our language about God is basically inadequate.

The writer of Psalm 139 asked the question, "Whither shall I go from your Spirit? If I ascend to heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in Sheol (the bowels of the earth) thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me." It was the psalmist's conviction that wherever we go, God is there. And because God is all-pervasive, there is no place we can go and be outside God. According then to the
ancient seekers, the sacred is not out there or up there somewhere, but around us as well as inside of us...

Panentheism believes that God is right here in all of us. God is nowhere yet everywhere, loving all of us, not just because we have been good but because we are a part of God. Marcus Borg is one of the contemporary scholars who has affirmed this form of theism and encourages us to view God as a compassionate lover as well as a liberator. Says Borg, "The religious life is about a deepening relationship with the God who is known by many names, the One who is right here as well as more than right here."

What then is prayer? It is not just talking to ourselves. It is not begging and beseeching for help from an external God somewhere in the universe? Rather it is simply knowing that we are not alone, that a force greater than ourselves, a divine being outside of all of us and yet also inside each of us, is inspiring us with wisdom and strength so that we can be who we came here to be, and so that we can help ourselves and each other? Each person has to make the decision about who God is (or is not) for himself or herself. We cannot do that for
another; we can only do it for ourselves. So what I say today comes from my own decisions about who I think God is, and may or may not reflect the decisions you have made.

The question before us today is how does prayer help us cope with crises? If prayer is not simply the words we speak, how then shall we pray? Mother Teresa said, "I used to pray that God would help me to ease the suffering of the people in Calcutta where I lived and worked.
I used to pray that God would do this or that. But now I pray that God will guide me to do whatever I can do. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us, and we change things"...

I believe that everyone has the ability to pray. It is built into us.
But prayer is not what I say. Prayer is who I am. Whether I bow my head and close my eyes, or look upward or outward, I am simply trying to go inside myself where I can hear the divine speaking to me...

I now firmly believe that when we are in a crisis of any kind, if we can get quiet and spend some time looking inward, and perhaps drawing on a wisdom and a power greater than our own, we will find help and direction.

I will repeat what I said several weeks ago in an article in the Idaho Falls Post Register. "True prayer is not what we say but who we are. Instead of accosting God with our demands and giving God instructions on how to run the universe, we should see prayer as simply clearly a path within ourselves, so that the divine can come alive in us." That kind of prayer might use words, or it might simply listen to silence within, so that the truth and love of God might become known in us and made visible to the world through and by us.

In conclusion, I want to say that I believe everyone prays, whether they have a formal religious affiliation or not. Whenever we go within ourselves and reflect on a situation in our lives or in our world, when we are filled with compassion for someone, when we are in trouble or filled with sorrow and despair over a situation, when we stand before a beautiful place in the world of nature---in these and a thousand of other times and ways, as we automatically reach into our own interior being to express gratitude or to seek comfort, meaning and direction, we pray. If we have a practice of meditation that helps us listen to ourselves and the world around us, even though that practice may have no direct reference to God, we are nevertheless praying.

When I am standing in the shadow of the Sawtooth Mountains in central Idaho (one of my favorite places), I am often more spiritual than when I am sitting inside cathedral. I am reminded of words of the psalmist, "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills. From whence cometh my help. My help comes from the One who made heaven and earth." Often in the silent presence of those majestic peaks, my cares and concerns drain away as unimportant or non-existent.

In conclusion, I feel awe and gratitude for all that has been given to me during my life and for the prayers that have guided me on my way. Our prayers may take the form of words, but true prayer is more than words, more than a religious exercise. Prayer is who we really are, not only now, but for all eternity.

Stigma: The Role of the Faith Community

by Gunnar E. Christiansen, M.D.
Co-Chairman, FaithNet NAMI

I always listen closely to the introduction to see if
I hear any new information about myself. What defines
us? Are we what we have done, or what we have not
done? Are we what we were, or what we hope to be?
Are we what others think we are? Are we what we do,
or are we the reason that we do something? Are we who
we are in spite of, or because of some one or some
thing? Are we a 'work in progress?' Who are we
anyway?

One thing for sure, if we are afflicted by an illness
or disorder, we are not the defect. Whether we are
black, white or in between, whether we are tall, short
or medium, whether we are shapely or pleasantly plump,
we are all persons. We are all an equal part of God's
creation.

God has allowed mental illness to exist in our world,
but defining someone by the fact that he or she has
developed such a disorder is a creation of man, not
God. Scripture tells us that God created us in his
image. It does not say that he created
'schizophrenics' and 'manic-depressives.' These
unfortunate terms used for descriptive purposes are
marks of stigma that lead to discrimination.

'To make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis
other than individual merit' is one of the definitions
for discrimination given in Webster's dictionary.
Unfortunately this is what is happening more often
than not in our nation and world today.

Those of us in this room appreciate that each of us
has unique talents, regardless of whether or not we
have a mental illness. Unfortunately, however, far
too many of those outside of this room seem oblivious
to this fact.

This lack of understanding leads to a situation in
which everyone loses. Those with a mental illness are
robbed of an opportunity to have an environment, which
encourages their participation, and society is robbed
of benefiting from their talents.

However, I am reluctant to throw too many stones at
others. Prior to my son becoming ill with paranoid
schizophrenia, neither my eyes nor my heart were open.
I did not fully appreciate the challenges faced by
those with a mental illness. I believe I had
sympathy, but my lack of understanding prevented me
from having empathy, which is necessary before a
meaningful response will happen. My lack of action
played a role in the continuation of the stigma of
mental illness.

Should the Faith Community be involved in the fight
against stigma? If so, what role should it play? I
suggest to you that it should play the leading role,
but does it have the will to do so?

The answer to this latter question can be influenced
significantly by us, especially the vast majority of
us who are part of the Faith Community. We are at
least partially responsible for whatever actions and
lack of actions that we attribute to it.

So what do we attempt to do as one person among many?
How do we influence our fellow Christians, Muslims,
Jews, Buddhists, Sikhs or those of other faiths. What
is the first step?

In my advocacy, I find that looking for direction in
scripture is basic to the development of an effective
response. I believe God has a significant message for
us in the Book of Joshua 6: 13 & 23.

'The seven priests carrying the seven trumpets went
forward, marching before the ark of the Lord ...'

'When the trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and at
the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud
shout, the wall collapsed ...'
New International Version

'The Walls Came Tumbling Down'

It is time for us to convince the Faith Community that
it should join us in leading all of society in a
march. It is time for us to shout and blow our horns.
The wall of stigma of mental illness must come down.

For the 90% of us who do not have a mental illness,
the wall is invisible. But those with one of these
disorders can see it clearly.

A proper response by our nation to the challenges
faced by those with a mental illness involves far more
than just what happens in our legislature and in our
medical research laboratories. Even if we are
successful in passing every law that we feel is
indicated and develop what seems to be the best
possible medications, we will still have the
significant challenge of stigma.

Society places a great deal of emphasis on the
importance of giving medication to those with
hallucinations and delusions in order to return them
to reality, but gives little consideration to the
world of stigma and discrimination to which they are
returned. Perhaps rather than having the question,
'Doesn't God care?,' it would be more fitting to have
the question, 'Don't we care?'

Webster's dictionary defines stigma as a mark or brand
indicating shame or discredit. The stigma of mental
illness makes an invisible mark, but it goes much
deeper than any brand with even the hottest of irons.

No one jokes about someone having cancer or any other
illness. Why do we persistently see it happening to
those with a mental illness?

Why is it so rare to see someone with a mental illness
portrayed as a hero and/or recognized for positive
contributions to society in movies, television shows
or novels? Is there really only John Nash who
deserves recognition?

We are faced with a formidable struggle. Our opponent
is ubiquitous. It seems to be everywhere all at the
same time. It is clever. It gets people to expand its
effect without their even realizing that they are
doing it.

It is ingenious. It affects people's ability to make
an accurate assessment of others. As mentioned,
instead of judging another by who they are and what
they are doing, they judge on the basis of what
illness or disability that they might have.

It influences people in such a way that they become
insensitive to the effect that their comments and
actions might have on others. It deceives people into
feeling that they somehow elevate themselves by
belittling others.

It effectively puts glasses on people that distort
their vision. It prevents them from seeing that we
are all created equal and that we all have the right
for the pursuit of happiness.

It utilizes fear to further its cause.

Regardless of how daunting our opponent appears to be,
we have good reason to believe that we can be
victorious. Our opponent is evil and can be defeated.

We are not alone in the battle. We have an ally and
we could not have a better one. With God's help, we
can cause the wall to come tumbling down.

We are also huge in numbers. The Faith Community's
troops are widespread. We can be clever and ingenious
as well.

We can provide glasses for others that will clear
their vision and enable them to see that each person
is considered special by God.

We can defeat unwarranted fear through education.
Attitudes can be changed. Perceptions can be cleared
up.

But to win the battle, we must do more than just talk.
We must march, blow our trumpets and march again.

As we prepare for this battle, as we focus on possible
solutions to our challenge, we must first carefully
assess if we are part of the problem. I believe that
Jesus' admonition to us in Luke 6:41 demands our
attention, 'Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother's eye and pay no attention to the log in
your own?'

An area that demands our immediate attention is the
problem of silence. I would like to share with you a
portion of a poem that I received from Louise G.
Fisher of Raleigh, North Carolina, which speaks to
this issue.

The Hush of Mental Illness
by: Louise G. Fisher

Hush! Say the families.
We'd be embarrassed for others to know.

Hush! Say the siblings.
We'd rather die than let anyone know.

Hush! Says the minister.
Someone might feel uncomfortable, you know.

Hush! Say the deacons.
We look after the physically sick, you know.

Hush! Say some church members.
I don't want anyone to know about me or my
relatives, you know.

Hush! Say some government leaders.
There's not enough money to go around, you know.

Hush! Says society.
Cause we already don't want to know, you know.

Stigma produces silence. Silence allows stigma to go
on unabated. We do need more than talk to stop
stigma, but it would be a huge step toward its
elimination if the voices of those affected by mental
illness could be heard.

I am not suggesting that it is wrong, if some want to
keep their illness or the illness of a family member a
secret. Often, when they do have the courage to talk
to someone, rather than receiving support they are
shunned. Rather than being understood, they are
misunderstood. Rather than being asked, ÒWhat can I
do to help?, they are offered inadequate, simplistic
solutions for extremely complicated problems. Rather
than receiving love, they might lose an opportunity to
develop a close relationship with someone who is
important to them. They might even find themselves
excluded from relating with members of their own
family. The job of a schoolteacher might be put in
jeopardy, if it became known that he or she had
schizophrenia or manic depression.

Parents that would like to advocate concerning the
illness of a son or daughter might be requested by
him or her to not to let it be known that he or she
has one of these disorders.

Even though secrecy is understandable, I urge those
who are affected by mental illness to avoid the
attempt to carry the load alone. The load is too
heavy. It is OK to ask for help. Doing so is not a
sign of weakness. A trusted friend and particularly
one that is a clergy person, as well, can be and
usually is of immense help.

Unfortunately silence does have consequences. When we
do not go to our clergy person, we allow stigma to be
the winner. Our clergy person is not educated by us
and we miss an opportunity for spiritual support.

I am thankful for the advocacy of those that do feel
comfortable in disclosing such personal information to
the general public. Nevertheless, I do not wish to
contribute guilt to someone that desires to remain
silent and already has a heavy burden.

It seems that avoidance by individuals and families to
reveal the existence of mental illness is often
justified, but we as a nation should feel awful about
this apparent necessity.

It is amazing how many people who have a mental
illness or have it in their family sit in lonely
silence until they hear someone like us tell our
story. It may only be privately to us that they
reveal the existence of mental illness in their life,
but it is a start in their releasing this burden and a
significant step in their healing process.

Even though we may be more prone to look at our
inadequacies rather than at our attributes, we must be
careful not to overlook the power of being a role
model. Our witnessing tells those that may be sitting
in silence that they are not alone. They will see
that others have survived. By openly stating the
burden that the existence of mental illness and its
stigma has had on our lives, we assist those in
silence to understand that there is a legitimate
reason for feelings of insecurity in a world that is
not being fair.

Our story is powerful whether we are a family member
or have one of these disorders ourselves. When we
combine it with giving the positive message that there
is no shame in having a mental illness, we demonstrate
that we refuse to be dominated by stigma. Those that
have found stigma to be overwhelming and have sought
refuge in isolation can be strengthened through our
willingness to fight back.

Stigma is not just something that is around us. It is
not just external. It can also penetrate our psyche.
It can be internalized. For those with a mental
illness, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Its
effect is similar to what happens to a child who is
constantly berated by parents and/or peers. It is
very difficult to accept the fact that one is OK, if
constantly told that he or she is not. As a result
one will very often end up accepting the opinion of
others as one's own.

Although we can't make stigma and discrimination
suddenly disappear, we can help those with a mental
illness realize that they are so special that their
opinion of themselves need not be altered by the
unjustified attitude of others. We can praise their
accomplishments and provide opportunities for them to
show their capabilities to themselves and others.
Providing them opportunities to serve others is
particularly helpful.

The most powerful antidote for the internal effects of
stigma and discrimination, however, is spiritual
strength. Reinforcement of the conviction that God
loves us and is with us even in our most difficult
times is of utmost importance. Where better to have
this inner strength nurtured than in a place of
worship with those of a common faith.

Elevation of self-esteem and self-confidence
accompanies recognition of one's value in the eyes of
God. These positive attributes will counteract the
power of internalized stigma. They will also
significantly improve the perception of a person by
others and thereby be a step in the reduction of
external stigma, as well.

Spiritual strength will diminish, however, unless it
is constantly nurtured through giving and receiving
loving care in our relationships with others. Thus it
is of major importance that each of us develops a
welcome and spiritually nourishing environment in our
own place of worship for those affected by mental
illness.

Scripture repeatedly tells us that God wants us to
come to him. He wants us in his presence. He wants
us to have a place of refuge. He wants us to have a
sanctuary. He wants us to have peace. He also wants
his voice of love and compassion to be heard and he
wants us to do the talking just as he directed Moses
as it is recorded in Exodus 4: 11 & 12:

'Now go, and I will be with your mouth
and teach you what you are to speak.'

David makes it clear in Psalm 37 that God wants to aid
us in advocating for that which is just.

'Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness
shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like
the noonday sun.'

Who are we? For sure we are all special. First and
foremost we are persons that have a spiritual base
through which God has offered to enter our lives with
love and strength. We are persons that have the
ability to perceive the needs of ourselves and others.
We are persons that are able to respond to these
needs in a helpful manner.

What a wonderful gift it is to be able to give a
helpful response to someone in need. When we combine
the words 'able' and 'response,' however, we see that
there is a 'catch' to this gift. We are responsible.
We are our brother's keeper.

By utilizing the power offered to us by God, we have
the potential to awaken the 'Sleeping Giant,' the
Faith Community. We can do so by picking up our
trumpets, marching, blowing our horns and shouting.
We can be and must be the alarm clock.

Unless we accept this challenge, unless we accept this
opportunity, unless we accept this responsibility, the
Faith Community will undoubtedly go on sleeping and
stigma will continue to flourish. Without the active
involvement of the Faith Community, NAMI may be able
to trim the branches of stigma, but it is extremely
unlikely that we will be able to destroy its roots.
With persistence and prayer, however, I am convinced
that the Faith Community will awaken and join us on
our march. When it does, there will be a loud shout
and the wall of stigma will come down.

Thank you very much.

FaithNet NAMI - Contact Information

NAMI Orange County - FaithNet NAMI
1810 East 17th Street
Santa Ana, CA 92705

NAMI California - FaithNet NAMI
1010 Hurley Way, Suite 195
Sacramento, CA 95825

TEL: (714) 544-8488

FAX: (714) 544-0791
Electronic Mail
Information: info@faithnetnami.org
Webmaster: webmaster@faithnetnami.org

Copyright (c) 1999 ~ 2005 FaithNet NAMI
Date Last Edited: Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Rev. Chet Watson, Past President, NAMI CA
Chair, NAMIWALKSFBAYAREA
Co-Chair, FAITHNET, NAMI CA
Chair, Episcopal Diocesan Commisson on Mental Illness
Concord, CA
Ph. 925-682-7195

What I Have Learned in 75 Years

by Rev. Dr. Rodney R. Romney

I have now completed seventy-five years of life, which means that the earth has made seventy-five revolutions about the sun since I was born. Our method of measuring time is based on the rotations of celestial bodies, and our method of counting births is a custom at least as old as civilization, dating back as far as the Roman Empire to the foundation of the so-called Christian era. I'm not sure where
the custom of birthday greetings got started, but I am today a most happy and blessed recipient of that custom. I recently received literally hundreds of cards, letters, email messages, and phone calls, all wishing me a happy birthday. To be loved and remembered by so many leaves me in awe, and with a heart overflowing with gratitude and love. It makes me want to renew my efforts in creating something that will, in some small way, make this earth a better place for everyone and everything, while I am still able to do it.

Buckminster Fuller said this about the evolutionary journey we all share, "It took only two million years and four and one-half billion human babies to establish a human survival beachhead aboard the little eight-thousand-mile-diameter Spherical Spaceship EARTH, whereby life could successfully realize its highest potential life span, possibly to continue indefinitely as one self-rejuvenating generation. Sadly, however, our evolutionary journey may not continue if we don't grow up, stop fighting and killing each other, and begin now to use our capacities harmoniously for the common good of all creation."

That is one of the most important things my seventy-five years have taught me. WE ARE HERE PRIMARILY TO LOVE OURSELVES, EACH OTHER, AND ALL CREATION. We are one body, one creation, one life. We are co-creators with God and partners with each other in this journey with all living things. But we now have the capacity to destroy everything, including ourselves, unless we change our ways and accept our responsibilities for the maintenance of the earth and all its creatures.

Ken Wilber in his book, "A Brief History of Everything," (1996) said that we are breathing our own exhaust and will be driftwood on the shore of this extra-ordinary stream called life if we do not create a new worldview. While Wilber's writings are sometimes difficult to understand, I completely resonate with his belief that a new form of society will have to evolve that gives respect, honor, value and worth to all life, if we are to survive. He calls this bioequality, where "a worm and an ape have equal value," and admits it is something that cannot be achieved except by a laborious process of inner
transformation. Yet if we do not achieve it, we may not survive.

Likewise, I believe we have to set aside war as a means of settling our disputes. War has not only become a dangerous pastime, it is now becoming obsolete. We can no longer afford to live with a "them-and-us" world view. In the words of former president Jimmy Carter, "We must learn a better way for solving our disputes than killing each other's children." Otherwise, the human experiment, as we have known it, may soon be over.

Love is the most important gift we are ever given. It is also the most important gift we can ever offer. Love was the central message of Jesus, and it is at the heart of every world religion today. "Love one another as you love yourself; love even your enemies, for that is how God loves you." It is a life achievement that will require every ounce of one's determination, but in the end loving everyone and everything is the only sane and healthy way we can live.

A second important thing I have learned in my seventy-five years of life is that RELIGION DIVIDES BUT SPIRITUALITY UNITES. I say this with both conviction and regret, for most of my life has been devoted to a religious institution, the church. But I now know that I could not have survived as a pastor within the Baptist church, if I had not found a spiritual practice that gave me a vision for the future, a sense of oneness with all people, a vital love for all creation, and a determination to fulfill the pastoral task I felt I had been called to do.

Most people are religious to some degree. That religion is nearly always determined by the culture into which we are born. We may express that religion by going to a synagogue, a mosque, a temple, or a church, where we join with others in a ritual of worship and exoteric practices. The major problem with the conventional religious experience is that, while it unites a certain number of people in expressing a certain belief system, it often creates a wall of separation that excludes those who do not share that system.

Spirituality is a personal construct, often involving personal practices, such as prayer, meditation, or contemplation, which may or may not be related to a conventional religion. Spirituality breaks down the walls that religion often builds and leads into the mystical experience, from which emerges a sense of oneness with all. A mystic is defined as a person who has had a personal and actual experience with what we might call Ultimate Reality. All religious traditions have produced mystics who have had a great liberating influence on the age and culture in which they have lived.

I believe Jesus was a mystic. He had an actual experience of Ultimate Reality that united him to all humankind. He was also a pacifist, who
refused even to defend himself when he was arrested and sentenced to die. He claimed nothing for himself that he did not claim for others. He fits the definition offered by Erwin Rimban: "The mystics are the greatest champions of the human race. They are our greatest warriors, even though they fight no bloody wars. They are our greatest lovers, for they experience the ultimate ecstasy, union with the infinite. They are the greatest explorers, for they probe the farthest reaches of the evolving consciousness. They are the ultimate testaments that humanity is meant for something larger, something bigger, and something more wonderful than our mundane existence."

I do not believe that Jesus is the only way to God, and this has often put me at odds with others who claim to be his followers. Jesus has been the way for me, but I have known Buddhists, Jews, Moslems, and persons of other religious affiliations who have found that same way, even though they have reached it through a different religious system. After a lifetime of searching, I am convinced that God loves
everybody, regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation. I also believe that ultimately everyone goes home to the God who loves them. There are no saved and no lost. We are all pilgrims on a journey, perhaps in different places, but all trying to go home.

In summary, I believe we are here primarily to love ourselves and all creation. Religion may separate us from one another, but that separation is something we have created and is only temporary.
Spirituality unites us in a universal call is to oneness with everyone and everything, all creation. We will fulfill our destiny when we live out that call.

This is my testimony as I take up the gauntlet of my 76th year of
life. God bless you, each and everyone, for having been a part of my life, and for the love you have given to me. I treasure that gift forever.

Fwd: God Is All There Is ... Rod Romney ...

Thanks to David Enroth (SpiritWarriorSky@aol.com):

[This past week I visited the church of my
childhood, Gatewood Baptist in West Seattle. The
physical church building looks much the same, but my
father is probably fussin' and frettin' in heaven
because there is now a dropdown screen and a rock n'
roll band set up for Sunday morning worship services.

When I was a kid Gatewood is where I learned that God
is a gray headed, fire-breathing guy in the sky who
visits guilt and shame on everyone who makes the
slightest and smallest mistake. My father used to yank
me out of movie theaters in front of my childhood
friends after I had sneaked in to watch a Sunday
matinee. Baptists in those days were against
fornication because they thought it might lead to
dancin'. Now I believe God is part of all of us and
every speck of every thing.

My hard-won spirituality has delivered me to a
spacious place of open-mindedness, and I am happier
with my life right now than I have ever been. Rod
Romney's column in Friday's Idaho Falls Post Register
produced a positive feedback of calls and letters.
Praise God! ... Sky]

ASKING THE 'WHAT IF' QUESTIONS
by Rodney R. Romney
(Printed in the Idaho Falls Post Register - January
13, 2006)

The Faith and Values column was temporarily suspended
because some of the submitted articles were
contentious and insensitive to other faith traditions.
Can we find expressions of faith and spirituality
that are inclusive of everyone? That seems to be our
challenge.

I am reminded of a little pamphlet I read a few years
ago by Louisa von Dessan. In it she offered some
insights in a life that is dedicated to spiritual
consciousness rather than mere physical survival. She
asked such questions as, "What if there is no one to
blame but you?" and "What if heaven and hell are
simply your perceptions of the world?" Here are some
additional questions that occurred to me as I read her
article.

What if everything that is happening in our world
today is right on schedule and happening to according
to the choices we have made? Shall we then continue to
make choices that lead to more destruction, or shall
we search for ways to be more inclusive and
compassionate of all people?

Choosing to love universally and unconditionally is
one of the most important religious decisions we ever
make.

What if this life is just one small event in a larger
life we all share? That would mean if we don't get it
right this time, we will have to keep trying until we
do. And it would mean that we are all in this
together. We share this life with others, and like it
or not, God has no favorites and expects us not to
have favorites either. As sure as we do, it means we
have lined up against those who we deem unworthy of
God's love as well as our own.

What if we are really one great cosmic family? That
would mean that everyone is a brother or a sister. We
would therefore need to recognize our oneness and
treat each other with love and respect before we can
fulfill our life purpose. Leadership, religion or
actions that fail to recognize the inherent oneness of
all things are misguided and also doomed to failure.

What if death is really just a birth into another
life? That would mean we would go into the next life
with no more and no less than what we know at the
exact moment of our departure. That would also mean
that we had better get busy and expand our
consciousness to the point where we can know the
truths that are available to us here and now. The
fear of death haunts most humans, largely because we
have made ourselves the center of life and have
forgotten that we are part of a larger life that
includes everyone.

What if true prayer is not what we say but who we are?
Instead of accosting God with our words and giving God
instructions on how to run this world, we would see
prayer as simply clearing a path within ourselves, so
that the divine can come alive in us. That kind of
prayer would use not only words but the silence of
listening within, so that the truth and love of God
could become known in us and made visible to the world
through us.

What if God is all there is? If God is all there
really is, then we would have to let God out of the
prison of our own concepts and begin to understand God
as Expanded Consciousness, Essential Creativity, and
Eternal Compassion. This God force would be recognized
as living potentially in every person, in all forms of
creation, and manifesting itself as Universal Spirit.

Every day we are given the opportunity to see God in
all things. Even tragedies and difficulties can be
signs of God's presence and an invitation to a
deepening relationship with the Mystery that resides
within all aspects of life. The one and only true gift
from God is Love, given to us in times of darkness as
well as in times of life, in times of failure as well
as times of success.

Like the prodigal son in Jesus' parable, we all want
to go home to God. But the truth is we are already
home. We never really left. Home lives inside each of
us. We may have forgotten it temporarily, but once we
accept it, we receive the freedom, the joy and love
that we have longed for all our lives. Thus do we
become a unique _expression of the love God has
ordained us to be, and thus do we become one with God.
For in the end, God is all there is.

[Rev. Rod Romney is a retired minister who writes
regular columns for the Idaho Falls paper.]

Where Is the Life We Have Lost in Living?

By Rev. Dr. Rodney R. Romney
January 2006

The poet T.S. Eliot (1888-1965) asked this question in one of his poems.
All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
All our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
But nearness to death no nearer to God.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?

Eliot intimated that our life cycles take us farther from God and "nearer to the dust," and yet we go on living, or at least partly so, because "humankind cannot bear very much reality." He seemed to infer that since we cannot find the real answers to our questions, we can only speculate about the life we have lost in the living.

I am asking that question of myself as I approach my 75th birthday in a few weeks. As I look back across recent years I am assailed by memories of loved ones in my family lost in death, knowing that what we once had together we will never have again. Sitting recently through the funeral of one of my former students from Arco made me wonder what lasting impact I might have had on his life and the lives of my students during my six years as a public school teacher in the little Idaho towns of Stanley and Arco. I reflect on the two churches I have served in my lifetime: Lakeshore Avenue Baptist in Oakland, California, and First Baptist in Seattle, Washington, twenty years at each place. I remember the close friendships and deep life experiences I shared with many people in those downtown churches. Yet those chapters have closed. The life I once shared with family members, students, parishioners and friends -- that life is lost in the living. It may surface briefly when we encounter one another or in reflections of memory, but that life is no more.

Yet precisely because we did know each other and shared a piece of this life together means we are different than we would have been otherwise. We are literally who we are today because of the persons we have known and because of what happened to us in our yesteryears. We are a part of everyone we have ever known, for in various ways, whether small or great, they helped shape our lives. So perhaps the life we have lost in living is not really lost at all. It is hidden inside ourselves, reclaimed occasionally as memory builds a bridge and brings it to the surface, but existent nevertheless, because what was once a part of us will forever be. We are who we are because of where we are, where we have been, and who we have known.

Perhaps then the greatest gift the years can offer is the opportunity to reclaim and reflect on the Life we thought we had lost in the living, but which is forever a part of us.

I look at the shelves of books that line the walls of my study here in Idaho Falls. My mother used to say that Rodney never met a book he didn't like. Perhaps that is true, although more accurately it might be said that I never met a book that I didn't want to keep. From Mark Twain to Marcus Borg, they are all here. Will I ever read them again? Maybe. Maybe not. But I am forever indebted to what they gave me, and I keep them as a memorial to the pleasures and discoveries they once provided. To paraphrase this title, "Where Are the Books We Have Lost in the Reading?" I would say they are always with us, for what they gave us is stored inside our hearts and minds.

And so it is with loved ones and friends. They are always with me, for what they gave us is stored forever inside my heart and mind.

The day will come when I will step out of this body. That day will come for all of us. Thanks to Beverly's commitment to healthy nutritious meals, and her encouragement that I keep my body active through daily exercise at a nearby gym, that day does not appear to be imminent. But when it comes, I believe I will leave this life with a song of gratitude for the glorious ride I have had and the wonderful friends that have been mine.

Where is the life we have lost in the living? It is forever with us, and always will be. It is one of the spiritual laws of life: we never lose what is eternally ours. And what is eternally ours is what brings us closer to the mystery of the God who created us and who lives eternally in everyone.

[Rev. Dr. Romney is an author and retired minister who served as pastor of Lakeshore Avenue Baptist Church, Oakland, CA, and Seattle Forst Baptist Church, Seattle, WA for a period of more than 40 years. He and his wife Beverly currently live in Idaho.]