Making Friends with Our Own Death

by Rev. Rodney R. Romney
May 1, 2005
(Written on the occasion of several deaths in my family)

The act of dying is shrouded in mystery. That is because we are only able to observe it from the outside, not the inside. Most people fear death, partially because it is a venture into the unknown and partially because we do not want to let go of life. The only assurance we have is that God is within the heart of both life and death, giving us courage to trust the silent thunder of death's release when it comes. I offer here some declarations concerning death, so that when it comes, it shall arrive as no feared stranger but a welcome friend.

1. Death is the natural, normal outgrowth of life. It as much a part of God's plan as birth. Birth opens the door into this world; death closes that door and opens the door into the next world. No matter how slow or painful the process, death is ultimately a blessing.

2. Death is what we are made for. Even though we have lived the life here we wanted to live, choosing our own path, there is more. Every day that we live we have been slowly and steadily dying. Death is our destiny.

3. Death is our final healing. It takes us out of our physical limitations, out of our infirmities and problems. It frees us from the wearying burden of life and offers us the liberating realization that we do not have to struggle on this earth forever.

4. Death is the doorway to a fuller life with God. In death we meet God and understand the mysteries of life. It is also where we are forgiven for any mistakes or errors we may have made. It is there we learn what it means to live fully in the divine.

5. Death takes us home. Ever since we arrived here, we have been homesick. Though this earth is a school for learning, and though life provides us with many adventures and joys, this earth is not our final home. Death will take us home where we will be accepted and loved, not for our good deeds or brilliant insights, but just for ourselves.

6. Death is the great adventure, an even greater adventure than this life has been. So many things will be made clear, new opportunities will be given, old dreams will be fulfilled, and new avenues of exploration will be offered.

7. Death is the great reunion. Everyone we have lost we will see again. And there we will wait for those we have loved here on this earth to join us.

8. Death is the realm of new assignments. When we have rested from this earth journey and have had time for new learning, we will be ready to take up life again. Whether there, here or some other realm, it matters not. Life is eternal, and that eternal life is not ended by death.

9. If we can live in this consciousness, we will be allowed to participate in selecting the moment of our own death. If we remain consciously connected to God as the Source of who we are, we will know when our time comes to leave this earth. We will not need to bargain or deny. Instead we can move into that moment of our own death with joyful acquiescence and radiant expectation.

Death is the final step of life, and it must be taken alone. But we are alone for the briefest of moments. The One that gave us life meets us as we start that crossing and ushers us into a reception of the most incredible love we have ever known.

Alone we die. But that aloneness is very brief, for in God we live again.

[Rev. Dr. Rodney R. Romney is a retired minister (pastoring churches in Oakland, CA and Seattle, WA for some four decades) who lives with his wife Beverly in Rod's native Idaho.]

[+] Toward a Dialog on How to Respond to Religious 'Nuts'

Recently some of us have been engaged in dialog on what makes religious nuts tick - and what really makes them dangerous.

To the question, "Why are people giving credence to all the religious nuts?" one correspondent wrote, "The simple answer to your question is,...it makes them feel powerful and a part of something they see as really important. It's the same reason so many Germans followed Hitler. I think the charisma of some of these people must be quite powerful. I have to confess, until recently I used to laugh at these nutballs, '...who do they think they're kidding, ....who would fall for such nonsense', etc. If it were simply a matter of their public appeal, I wouldn't be so worried. At some point I believe most people will wake up and see this dominionist bullshit for what it is. In my opinion, the real threat is the huge money they can generate. Their agenda tends to appeal to the moneyed interests - corporations and a host of conservative institutions. O! ne thing that puzzles me is the silence most of the mainline churches. I would expect to hear more speaking out against this dangerous element from within the Christian community."

The lack of 'feedback' from the mainstream congregations probably stems from their general distaste for the fundamentalist approach to religion. I think that the most effective way to counter the ravings of nut cases is NOT to respond to them point-by-point -- an example might well be the futility of engaging in detailed arguments with homophobic bigots or with the kooks who believe women must be 'subject' to men's control (exactly like the Taliban). Putting their rants into the larger context of historic American society and culture is what is needed. And, ironically, despite the best intentions of people like myself, the best way to do that may NOT be to accord 'respect' for their opinion or position.

There comes a time when craziness must be called out as such and rationa! l people called on to repond to the irrational with ridicule and isola tion. I believe that a mild form of that (giving a 'wide berth' and veiled disdain for fundamentalism) has essentially been the tactic of mainstream churches, but of course, the problem that has arisen is the unforseen mass involvement with the radical right in this country - and, as many commentators have noted, it has become more difficult to distinguish whether adherents are responding out of religious or political zeal. In the closed social system of many church groups, the two definitely tend to merge into one, and such narrowing of one's world view merely enhances the attraction of a theocractic governmental system. The extent to which this comprises a cult (or tends to become one) is a question that, to my knowledge, remains to be addressed. The totality of control of personal behavior that some churches seek to impose begins to amount to cult-like manipulation, in my humble opinion. In fact, I believe many are dispensing political and social "kool-aid" which is absol! utely poisonous to our traditional separation of church and state.

Again, ironically, the splitting of churches and denominations along political and theological lines may actually offer much-needed relief from contentious in-fighting that has now come to consume much or perhaps even most of the energies of religious leaders. My own experience with a couple of these groups would suggest to me that the 'splitting process' has taken far too long. Several years ago, I predicted that some ministers will spend their entire careers dealing with these types of issues, and that is proving to be the case. What a waste of human potential and religious mission - in terms of lost opportunities to be engaged in more vital and important work to meet the pressing needs of the world's population.

In a day when thousands of people are dying every day from violence, malnutrition, poverty, corrupt governments, and stagnant economies, the efforts and energies of our churc! hes and political bodies are being consumed by arguments over what con stitutes marriage and how to continue to discriminate against people who have different sexual orientations and lifestyles.

At the same time, we are ignoring serious environmental changes and irresponsible allocation of natural resources -- both of which may lead to catastrophic consequences relatively soon.

This is, indeed, craziness - to the point of societal insanity - the modern equivalent of "fiddling while Rome burns." Let's start demanding that leaders address the REAL problems we face and return to an enlightened and egalitarian basis of rational discussion and decision-making.

Rev. Rick Mitchell, Ph.D.

[Rick Mitchell is Editor of Ecumenical News/PeacePolitical News and is an ordained ecumenical/interfaith minister who volunteers in leading of small community discussion groups on matters of common interest and concern. He is a graduate of the University of California, Berkeley, CA, in Educational Psychology (with studies concentrating on moral education and development) and the Pacific School of Religion -- also in Berkeley, CA. He has served in churches of various denominations (including the United Church of Christ, Christian Church - Disciples, American Baptist and Unitarian Universalist, in addition to the Homeless Summit of the Interfaith Council of Contra Costa County, CA). He is a retired engineer and has also volunteered as a part-time hospital chaplain in the past.]